so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
