So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
