remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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