i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...