Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
You came to the right person.