Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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