Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
When did angry sex become our thing?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
