R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
there's paper in my vomit.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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