you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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