You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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