I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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