He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He kissed a someone with a penis
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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