I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
