note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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