I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
look no pants
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
