My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
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I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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