It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize