yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
