after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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