Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
