Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
