Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
