I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
