that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish life had little blips of pornography
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
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