doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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