I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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