Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
