my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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