Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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