We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
