awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
