she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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