She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
