I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
