I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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