I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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