Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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