im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
