worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
