I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
