I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
