He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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