Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
