I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
