The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize