So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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