haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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