Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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