New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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