i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
