the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
