If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize