He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
