You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Someone signed my nipple.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
