Say something about gay babies.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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