Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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