Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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