Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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