Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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