all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Blow job season was short but glorious.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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