Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
