i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
