i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Green mimosas i think yes
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
