So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
