Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
