Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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