can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
