I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
